Heavy Heart, Stubborn Brain

Yes, I know this blog is mostly a place to post pictures and talk about what we do here in Iowa. But, I have a heavy heart and stubborn brain these days. Sometimes when I write down my thoughts, I can get to a better place -don't you remember those pictures from November 2008? I was so upset because the kids wouldn't sit still for Christmas pictures, then I blogged about it and felt better - laughing actually, immediately. So, maybe this help - and maybe some of you can help me.

I want to know how you can forgive someone when they don't seem sorry at all? I normally am not a person to hold grudges. I just need a little time to get over my hurt feelings or my anger, then I'm fine and dandy. Yes, I appreciate a "sorry" if it's warranted, but more so, I just want the person to try not to do it again. But, how do you forgive someone if they hurt you (and more importantly your family) and they don't act like they did anything wrong or just plain act like they don't care and haven't really given it any thought? Yet, there is an obvious issue.

In my heart, I know we are supposed to forgive as we have been forgiven by God. I really get that. But, how does my brain catch up with that idea? How do I even step into the room with that person(s) without them ever, ever even acknowledging to me that they hurt us so badly.

I am a mom and I love both of my children with such a huge heart that I'm sure that no one could ever fathom the enormity of it. Although, I'm sure all moms feel that way. How can I look at said person(s) and in my brain and heart say - okay, I just need to forgive them. Again, though, never a "sorry," never a "I'll (we'll) never do this to you guys again," never a "wish we could talk this through to solve anything," never a "I'm sorry this affected your little ones. We'd like to make it up to them."

I've prayed about it, we're still praying about it, our family has people praying for us. Will time heal all wounds? Even the ones that never actually are spoken about? How do I get over the continual fear that even if it can get back to a "normal," how do we trust the person(s) to not do it again if they never ever utter a word that they are sorry or want it to be better or even that it won't happen again?

How do you forgive someone that doesn't even think they did anything wrong? I want to follow my heart and forgive because it is sooo heavy and I want more for me and my family. But my brain brings up other memories and thoughts... What do you do?